ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
It has been one week and a day that my world came crashing down… The pain that my heart feels, still, is aggravating and agonizingly deep. It burns and the brightness keeps my mind at an uneasy rest. I do not want to be felt sorry for, but only by him. It hurts me worse when others feel like I do right at this moment… sorry. I see others, happy and living life with their mates and mine is no longer wanting me.
I sit, and I cry every day and every night hoping that all will be resolved and forgotten. But not so. It will not leave my mind. The pain. The pain will not surrender its grasp on me and will not let me be. I read the letters constantly. Oh, the love letters! So filled with hope and longing that I, myself, long to have once more. They fill my eyes and my heart with tears and false hope that one day he will be back to take me again. To put out the bright burning in my heart and replace it with the hidden passion I still feel for him, only to make it stronger! I miss those happily placed days when all that was the focus was me. How I miss being held and nuzzled upon by the very nose I miss kissing. How I miss having sweet little messages sent to me at night, waking me from my sleep so that I may only sleep more soundly.
Though we lived together, I still miss getting little hints of 'I love you' that left his lips. I miss waking up in the morning next to the one that held my heart in his ever loving hands. And I held his, but it seems he wanted it back… I do not know this for sure, but I hope, I pray that I still have his like he promised I would. Oh how is heart was kind to me those months. So kind. It still confuses me… why did this happen and why will he not let me in to help? He claims he does not need it but being alone will not heal what is broken. I just sit here in this somewhat empty house now and contemplate to myself the things that could be fixed… No, I know what can be fixed. I know, but he will not do them so tenderly. He will not sacrifice the things he has done so long and will not keep the things around him that he needs to help him through his understandings of what needs to be fixed. He won't and that burdens my mind to the point of almost insanity. I don't know what to do completely and all I can tell him over and over is that I love him so much that I break down at the mere thought of him and how we were.
I hope he lets me in… I hope. I love you with all that I am and it is honestly hard to be away.
I sit, and I cry every day and every night hoping that all will be resolved and forgotten. But not so. It will not leave my mind. The pain. The pain will not surrender its grasp on me and will not let me be. I read the letters constantly. Oh, the love letters! So filled with hope and longing that I, myself, long to have once more. They fill my eyes and my heart with tears and false hope that one day he will be back to take me again. To put out the bright burning in my heart and replace it with the hidden passion I still feel for him, only to make it stronger! I miss those happily placed days when all that was the focus was me. How I miss being held and nuzzled upon by the very nose I miss kissing. How I miss having sweet little messages sent to me at night, waking me from my sleep so that I may only sleep more soundly.
Though we lived together, I still miss getting little hints of 'I love you' that left his lips. I miss waking up in the morning next to the one that held my heart in his ever loving hands. And I held his, but it seems he wanted it back… I do not know this for sure, but I hope, I pray that I still have his like he promised I would. Oh how is heart was kind to me those months. So kind. It still confuses me… why did this happen and why will he not let me in to help? He claims he does not need it but being alone will not heal what is broken. I just sit here in this somewhat empty house now and contemplate to myself the things that could be fixed… No, I know what can be fixed. I know, but he will not do them so tenderly. He will not sacrifice the things he has done so long and will not keep the things around him that he needs to help him through his understandings of what needs to be fixed. He won't and that burdens my mind to the point of almost insanity. I don't know what to do completely and all I can tell him over and over is that I love him so much that I break down at the mere thought of him and how we were.
I hope he lets me in… I hope. I love you with all that I am and it is honestly hard to be away.
Oh Gawd I'm Back
O.O
Can you believe it.. after all these months.. maybe even a year?
Wow.. It's been so long that I can't even remember. That's pretty bad.
But I hope you all take a look at my new things and leave me comments.
Muah!!
-Samantha
Legal
The second big day of my life is here.
My 18th birthday.
omg..
it's scary but thrilling at the same time.
Just thought I'd tell yah. :]
So.. yet another. :/
fun stuff.. car wrecks. only 17 and second one in less than a year. BAH!!
this one wasn't as bad as the first though. i think this time i'll be able to keep the car as long as they can fix it.
the deer unfortunately.. no save. and i feel SO bad about hitting it.. :[ seeing that i work at the animal clinic right up the road from where i had the wreck.. woo yay..
the girls are going to love this. Ha!
but i guess i'll give you the low down on the happenings of last night.
So yeah.. band practice. Fun, hot, sweaty, in the dark practice. We got done around 9 p.m. and everyone was wanting to go home because it was late and we were all over-hyp
Regrets..
Ever done anything that you wish you could take back? That you wish never happened, or wanting somehow to could go back in time and fix it all?... I do. That's all I have wanted here lately. I just want to go way back and see what I did wrong to fix it all, but I know that will never happen.. Time travel doesn't exist in this world of mine but it needs to! I need to see what I did wrong..
I hate to know that what I may have done back in the day could mess up or completely ruin my future. I know a lot of people believe in 'destiny' and everything, but mine isn't helping me.. I hate that I know I have hurt people in my past and yet.. in a sick
© 2009 - 2024 SatansSister
Comments1
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Looks like you're learning that one can only fix one's self. Your post indicates that there's something wrong with him that you thought you could change. Love is accepting a person as they are, not in hopes that they will change into what you desire.